General - He Suffered So You Could Save!

Inspired by the following sing posted at my neighborhood Taco Bell:

“Great tastes during lent!”

MUSIC: Down Tempo

ANNOUNCER: Have the high holy days got you down?

Does your religious conviction leave you feeling bland and empty inside?

Are archaic rules about pork products, meat on Fridays and 40 days of suffering keeping you from enjoying life?

SFX: CHIMES

MUSIC: Upbeat Pop Mix

ANNC: Well, your friendly corporate marketers are here to help!

So what if it’s Lent? Why should you suffer?

Just because you buy presents to celebrate Jesus’ birthday doesn’t mean you have to recognize his march towards death by sucking down water and cayenne pepper cleansers.

No meat on Fridays? McDonald’s will offer you a fresh fish filet for one dollar! Wendy’s is upping the ante by claiming they serve real fish during this holy period.

Can’t have meat at all. Eat at Taco Bell! (Hint: Don’t know what to order? Don’t worry. None of it has real meat.)

Are you forgoing sugar to show your reverence to our lord and savior’s suffering? Looks like it’s time to bring on the Splenda!

Zero carb and caffeine free soda. Words like ‘shoot’ that aren’t technically swear words. Non-alcoholic beer and crack-cocaine. Whatever you need to get through your obligation to the church, we can help!

Remember, just because Easter is right around the corner doesn’t mean you can’t start stockpiling chocolate rabbits and colorful candy now. No one ever said Jesus was opposed to a good sale.

And nobody said that Lent had to be boring. Think outside the dogma!