May 26, 2011

Are They Putting Up a Brown Building Next?

Toby was depressed.

He'd always assumed that the world of architecture was just like fight club, in that it had a single rule that is more important than all others. In this case, never have just one bathroom when more than 100 people are cohabiting on a single floor.

Of course at this point, he could only wish that this was true. He shuddered at the thought of entering the mens restroom on the third floor of the green building in the Pacific Design Center, where he worked.

He didn't like to think about poo, but at this point in his career, he could fill a book with invective about the vile things he'd seen in the stalls of the office commode.

As is often the case, his mind turned to the legacy of Cesar Pelli, the man who designed the Pacific Design Center.

While Pelli's vision was nearing completion, with construction crews busily building the giant red cherry on top of his multicolored architecture pie in West Hollywood, inhabitants like Toby were suffering.

Because Pelli didn't adhere to the first rule of architecture, people like Toby were left with two choices: suffer in the green building, or go pee in the blue.

You see, Pelli did do those on the south side of the green building a solid by putting in a patio between the two buildings on the third floor, so the restroom in the blue building was easily accessible.

The blue building is not standard office fair, featuring several large designer showrooms populated by about ten employees total.

The bathroom in the blue building is a private oasis compared to the den of disaster in the green.

Maybe it took an elevator ride, a flight of stairs and some careful avoidance of a few security guards to get there, but it was worth it.

And this is where the legacy gets tarnished.

Toby is sure that Pelli imagined people looking at his blue, green and red buildings in awe. Amazed by the spectacle of such big bright buildings dominating the West Hollywood skyline.

The people lucky enough to work in such a place would surely treat it with reverence and speak about the honor of stepping foot in his creation every day with hushed tones.

A phrase like "I'm going to the blue building" would conjure up images of whimsy and adventure.

But, that is not the case.

Ask anyone who works in Toby's office what is in the blue building and they won't tell you about the art galleries, or the new gym, or even the mostly-functional escalators.

They'll all answer with some variation of "that's where the good bathrooms are."

So, the phrase "I'm going to the blue building" really means "I'm going to the bathroom."

The thought of this made Toby sad.

Poor Pelli.

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