The H.G. Miller Blog

Two Deals Left for Royals

2012-01-18T08:12:00.000-08:00

I say two, of course, because the only deal the Kansas City Royals have to get done is signing Alex Gordon. Arbitration figures were exchanged and the club and player are about $1.3 Million apart. Or, as Mitt Romney would call it: peanuts. A one-year contract would be a disappointment, and if Gordon plays well, it could be prohibitively costly. The good news is that the two sides both appear to

What the Frack?

2012-01-03T15:10:00.001-08:00

Bad news for natural gas. A lot of people are about to ask the question "what's fracking?"Expert: Fracking caused Youngstown Ohio earthquakesBy giving the process a name that sounds vaguely like something the Muppets would do, the industry has been able to fly pretty low under the radar, with only a few geeks from NPR and people in the affected areas knowing what was going on.But, earthquakes are

Catching Up on the Royals

2012-01-02T10:10:00.001-08:00

Happy New Year, everybody. One of my goals this year is to start writing about the Kansas City Royals again. It's something I've always enjoyed, and the team has been more fun to watch this past year than any since 2003. Previous bits of my baseball meanderings can be found here, here and here. This is, of course, a terrible idea. The main reason is that I am about to become a father for the

Kardashian's Split Puts My Reality Hate in Focus

2011-11-02T23:05:00.000-07:00

We watched another episode of Jersey Shore tonight and I felt my brain turn a bit more to mush. Of course, the season is over now. We've got seven episodes sitting on the DVR, and each week as the number ticked up a notch, it became more and more painful to contemplate the task of taking them all in. You see. I hate reality TV. I understand the term "reality" has taken on a strange meaning in

I miss my mix tapes

2011-09-29T21:07:00.001-07:00

Some random thoughts on a Thursday night. ---------------------I miss my mix tapes.---------------------I was listening to a favorite album of mine on the old iPod today, when I was thrown off by how quickly one song followed the other.This particular album was previously owned only on cassette tape before the world went digital, and the song that had just ended was the last one on what us old

What's He So Sure About?

2011-08-17T22:24:00.000-07:00

The dog gave me a look I hadn't seen before. Normally, he had a slightly-confused expression... you know, like he wanted to ask me a question about quantum physics, but wasn't sure if he would use the right terminology, or if that was even my particular area of expertise. Sometimes, he had this happy grin and his tongue would hang out, and I'd feel pretty good about myself for taking this

I Might be Supersonic

2011-06-24T00:11:00.001-07:00

When I was a kid, I would often dream of being some kind of bionic man. A cross between Inspector Gadget and Remo Williams. The part that always seems to get glossed over in those movies is that the guy getting all of the cool hardware had to go through some intense pain before the fancy accoutrements arrived.I mean, the dude got seriously hurt.In real life, most of us will rarely go through a

The NBA Finals – One Take On a Game Four Recap

2011-06-08T23:13:00.000-07:00

In preparation for tonight's game five in the NBA finals, I thought I'd take a quick look back at my experience with Game Four on Tuesday night. Here is how one man took in this pivotal match up. 1st Quarter I was still at work when the game started at six, so I missed most of the first quarter while finishing up a few emails to the client, checking in on the Royals score and IMing with my wife

Are They Putting Up a Brown Building Next?

2011-05-26T21:47:00.001-07:00

Toby was depressed.He'd always assumed that the world of architecture was just like fight club, in that it had a single rule that is more important than all others. In this case, never have just one bathroom when more than 100 people are cohabiting on a single floor.Of course at this point, he could only wish that this was true. He shuddered at the thought of entering the mens restroom on the

I Can See. Just Can't Understand.

2011-05-11T12:49:00.001-07:00

I don't like to break a man's spirit, but the poor sap just picked the wrong day to try upselling me on a pair of new frames.I certainly don't like to be crying when I do it.It was a typical contact lens fitting. A somewhat impolite optical technician flashed a variety of lights in my eyes. Asked me to look up, down and to both sides. The actual doctor gave me a polite nod as he walked by the

Yes, My Cat Craps in the Sky

2011-04-07T22:28:00.000-07:00

I think every man fancies himself a builder at some level. We may not all construct skyscrapers that touch the heavens or landscapes that tickle the imagination, but we all make something.A birdhouse from a milk carton. A TV stand from Ikea. A stack of empty Mountain Dew cans in the shape of Castle Greyskull.Some of us have more time than others...Recently, I was inspired to create something that

Costanza Knows What I'm Talking About

2011-03-10T22:37:00.000-08:00

The best description of kidney stones I've ever heard was Jason Alexander on The Tonight Show, explaining to Jay Leno that it felt like the hand of God had reached into his car and grabbed a hold of one of his testicles. I can't begin to do the story justice, but I remember laughing quite heartily at the descriptions of pain I did not quite understand. I have now had to deal with kidney stones on

Orange Memories

2011-03-03T22:27:00.000-08:00

I have an old laptop I like to fire up now and then to remind me of where my writing career began. Laptop may actually be a generous term. It was really a brick with a hinge that allowed a small screen to be flipped up. The screen color options were orange and nothing.There was no battery, just a long black power cord. With a whopping 164 kilobytes of total memory, a blank Word file would cripple

2011-02-24T21:16:00.000-08:00

It's been unseasonably cold in Los Angeles and it's making people grumpy. OK. It's making me grumpy. I will not hesitate to admit that my blood has run thin in the Mediterranean climate if Southern California. When I was a kid, the high only had to be 60 for it to be considered shorts weather. These days I pack a jacket for the short walk to my car after work when the thermometer falls to those

Gonna be a Long (ball) Year

2011-02-24T15:02:00.001-08:00

Checking out the Twitter feed for Bob Dutton gives us this:So, are the hitters that good, or the pitchers that bad?

Merriam-Webster Says It is a Noun of British Origin, So Ha!

2011-02-03T23:03:00.000-08:00

I'm what you might call a wallpaper junkie.I change the background image on my desktop at least once a week. The home screen on my iPhone gets a make over more often than one of them Orange County housewives. I tend to go for abstract patterns. Stuff that won't distract from the fine decor on my desk. You know, the piles of flowcharts, manilla folders and empty Wild Turkey bottles. Most

Sometimes, You Get a Story About the Dentist

2011-01-27T22:46:00.000-08:00

Maybe it's all dentists, but mine seems to be one of the lesser practitioners in Los Angeles. If his location wasn't so convenient to work, and if I wasn't so lazy, I'd surely find somebody better.I really don't know what else to say.Actually, it's hard to say much of anything when your mouth is full of gauze, water and Novocaine."How's work?" my dentist asks."Mfmph," I respond."Open," he

A Dialogue Drill

2011-01-20T21:23:00.000-08:00

Personally, I think the receptionist was being a little dramatic.Why don't you decide for yourself.The phone rang at about 8:15a.m."Hello?""Mr. Miller, this is Andrea from Dr. Kalifeh's office.""Crap.""Sir. Are you on your way in for your appointment with Dr. Kalifey this morning?""No. I'm sorry. I completely forgot.""Sir. The doctor came in early today for your appointment specifically.""I know.

No, This Isn't True; But You Can Check My Facebook, Anyway

2011-01-13T22:41:00.000-08:00

After avoiding the whole location craze, I finally figured I would utilize the "check in" feature on Facebook. It was time to be more social, right? Well, it might have all happened like this... 8:30pm - Check in at Union Station. We were supposed to pick up our friends at 8 o'clock but, we were running late. Unfortunately, the LA Transit System was running later. We parked the car and prepared

Just Ask for a Packet, Man

2011-01-06T22:57:00.000-08:00

In retrospect, stopping at McDonalds before the meeting was a bad choice. I mean, I did need to eat. Fainting in the middle of the presentation would have impressed nobody. Though, some sympathy points from the client certainly couldn't hurt. In the end, though, showing up a half an hour late, drenched in ketchup, crying just a little bit... and limping. It was hard not to notice the limp. These

Sports - Should the Royals Sign a Pitcher (or two)?

2010-12-22T14:18:00.000-08:00

I'm over Greinke going away. Time to get excited about the Royals actual youth movement.Here is a pretty chart showing the current players on the 40-man roster and their ages.The key here is that those players in RED are in what should be considered the prime of their careers. A few guys are just past prime, cooling off, or in the case of Jason Kendall: dead.Even the signings of Melky and Frenchy

Treasured Trash

2010-04-06T22:18:00.000-07:00

Today, I saw a guy filming a dumpster.Not some nice, West Hollywood/Beverly Hills dumpster. A seriously filthy container full of garbage. Like, just off the freeway, before you pass the Coroner's office and the thrift shop (wonder where they get those clothes?) and after the line up of auto glass chop shops.We're talking a legit trash can here. Filled with God knows what for however many years.

Tuesday News

2009-11-24T08:24:00.001-08:00

Best Buy is in hot water with the American Family Association for running an ad that wishes followers of Islam a "Happy Eid Al-Adha." The group has also singled out The Gap for celebrating all of the winter holidays, Wal-Mart for using an asterisk in their logo instead of a cross and aisle 13 of the local grocery store for selling Devil's Food chocolate cake mix.The Wall Street Journal has

Maybe It Pays to Think Outside the Box

2009-09-09T19:37:00.001-07:00

10 games scattered throughout the minor leagues doesn't really portend anything, but you've got to think you couldn't ask for better results from the Tony Pena, Jr. pitching project. clipped from mlb.mlb.comPena adjusting to new role as pitcherEverything went very well. He started with the Rookie Surprise team for

Royals Pushing DeJesus for Award. What about Zack?

2009-09-03T15:20:00.001-07:00

Let's make one thing clear: David DeJesus is my favorite player on the Kansas City Royals. Has been for years. He wears the same number I did when i played ball in high school, and I've said so while sponsoring his page on Baseball-Reference.com.But in the Royals tradition of mis-allocating resources, they have apparently decided to make a PR push for David to get a Gold Glove award for his work

Form Follows Function Forever - IKEA 1965

2009-08-27T17:02:00.001-07:00

Cool pics of an old IKEA catalog from 1965. What blows me away is how many of the pieces could be on the showroom floor today and wouldn't look out of place. clipped from ikketikketheo.wordpress.comIKEA Catalog anno 1965My parents like to keep the annual IKEA catalogs – it says it is the most printed book after

The Matrix is Not Quite There Yet

2009-08-26T15:54:00.000-07:00

Tried out a new thing called 16apps. The gist of it is that they will scan your Twitter history and tell you the iPhone applications you may be interested in based on the kind of person you appear to be.Apparently, I am quite the boring tweeter. What's worse is that the tweet this info is pulled from refers to cattle, not felines.You can read it here, if you care to read the ramblings of a

Social - Google to pay you for going viral. You decide if you'll pay your friends.

2009-08-25T16:32:00.001-07:00

It looks like Google has found a way to make some money off of those YouTube videos that grab hold of the moment and skyrocket to infamy across the web.The good news is that they will be sharing the profits with the creators of these viral darlings. The bad news will likely come when you find out that funny video of your grandma farting only got you five dollars despite a hundred-thousand

Gordon Demoted - Teahen Back at Third?

2009-08-18T17:11:00.001-07:00

A much larger study has probably already been done on the effect of playing position and batting results, but on the surface, it appears that the Royals may get a small boost in offensive production just by putting Mark Teahen back at third and keeping him there.His splits from playing in right field.His splits from the hot corner.For 2009 alone, his OPS+ at third is 108 compared to 67 in the

Laughingstock Status Achieved

2009-08-06T07:41:00.000-07:00

Just caught a bit of Sports Center. The were showing the top three teams in the American League central along with little fun facts about each. The Tigers are below .500 since the All Star break. The White Sox have been on a streak. And the Twins have 12 games remaining against the Royals.Seriously? F-you, Sports Center.

Royals begin retooling for 2015.

2009-07-10T13:53:00.001-07:00

Yuniesky Betancourt career line: 279/302/393Willie Bloomquist career line: 266/324/334For a marginal (at BEST) upgrade at shortstop, the Royals have traded away one of their top pitching prospects, a guy who would have been competing for a rotation spot next year and is only 22 years old.Unless there is an injury to Cortes that we don't know about, this is just an abysmal trade that makes no

25-34 : Rany Nails It

2009-06-12T14:15:00.001-07:00

I don't think the season is lost, because I never realistically thought the Royals would win the division this year. That said, it was nice to be competitive and in the hunt early in the season, and it would be nice if the team wasn't comically bad every year.I think Rany nails it in his post below. I would say that I am still positive for this team to stay within shouting distance of .500,

Old Men in Liquor Ads

2009-05-26T13:49:00.001-07:00

Seth Stevenson at Slate has a nice review of the Dos Equis ads that are finally getting national attention. I've highlighted what I think is the key to these ads below, namely that the spokesperson capitalizes on his dimensionality by admitting he doesn't always drink beer.What I find more interesting is that older men seem to be making a comeback in the branding department. Stevenson references

21-18 : Be Gone Ye Demons

2009-05-20T08:31:00.001-07:00

I'll just quote Ryan Lefebvre here:"One year ago today, there was an enormous ovation for the home team. But, it was for Jon Lester's no-hitter at Fenway park. Tonight, it's for the Royals after a four run bottom of the ninth inning. ... So, what's the difference between this year and last year? There you go."The camera was panning across the jumbo-tron showing the words "Royals Win!"That no-no

Prospectus Idol Submission - Vlad vs. Russ

2009-05-18T13:54:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, I submitted a story to Baseball Prospectus to enter a contest they are having to find new writing talent. They have since posted the ten finalists, and as I am not one of them, I am assuming it is okay to post my submission here.You can check out the finalists for the Prospectus Idol contest here.-----------------------------------To whom it may concern:Below is my submission for

Why I Don't Like Taking Out the Trash

2009-05-17T21:07:00.000-07:00

I don't generally introduce myself to people by throwing chunks of broken glass at them. But, you know, sometimes it happens.Of course, like most stories of violence between neighbors, it all began at Trader Joe's grocery store.You see, in addition to overpriced fish and stoned worker drones, TJ's also has this delicious orange-carrot-omega-something-or-other drink that is quite delicious.

Killer Karaoke

2009-05-11T22:50:00.001-07:00

People make a lot of mistakes in life. Don't take offense, you know you do. I'll be honest. I've made my fair share of bad decisions, but I don't think this precludes me from making judgments of others. When I see problems, I try to correct them. Sort of like a real-time Scot Bakula keeping the world on track so I can move on to my next destination and hopefully, someday, maybe make it home.I

The Onion Infiltrates Legitimate News

2009-05-06T09:44:00.001-07:00

I understand the need for news sites to generate traffic and clicks in order to pay the bills, but it's getting a little ridiculous. The headline below could have come straight from The Onion.I mean, is any piece of this story real news? I'm sure the porn star is considering a Senate run, but I highly doubt the electorate will consider her. clipped from www.cnn.com• $30 million for SD salaries • $100 for distance learning • $98 million for school nutrition• $1.25 billion for project based rental • $2.25 for Neighborhood Stabilization • $1.2 billion for retrofitting Project 8 housing I love typos. Above are a couple of clips from CNN's list of

Royals Ink Greinke

2009-01-26T13:08:00.001-08:00

clipped from www.kansascity.comThe Royals reached agreement Monday morning with right-handed pitcher Zack Greinke on a four-year contract that buys out his first two seasons of free-agent eligibility. In an off-season that has featured many less-than spectacular moves, the Royals finally made a big splash.Financial

Sports - 2008/2009 Royals Roster comparison

2009-01-23T19:14:00.001-08:00

Taking the work of Clark Foster at Royals Authority and playing around with it a little bit. Below is a chart of the 2008 opening day roster and the projected 2009 squad.2008 ERA/OPS 2009 ERA/OPS (CHONE Proj.) Grienke 3.47 Greinke 4.20 -21%Meche 3.98 Meche 4.21 - 6%Bale 4.39 Hochevar 4.97 -13%Banny 5.76 Banny 5.01 13%Tomko 6.97 Davies 5.26 25%

Sports - Arbitration for Four for Royals

2009-01-20T18:08:00.000-08:00

The Royals exchanged arbitration figures with four players today. My quick thoughts on how they should handle each case.Pitcher Zack GreinkeAsked: $4.4 millionRoyals: $3.4 millionMidpoint: $3.9 millionHey, Zack. How would you like to make $7 million dollars next year? And the year after that? And the year after that? Why don't we just pencil you in for about $35 million over the next five years

Sports - Royals Fail to Sign Dunn; Settle for Bloomquist

2009-01-14T08:09:00.001-08:00

It seems the Willie Bloomquist deal has sent the Royals blogosphere into a bit of a tizzy.For the record, I don't like the move, either. Bloomquist is one of those players whose names I have heard, but never had any idea who they were. My initial reaction to the signing went something like this: Willie who? Didn't he play defensive back for the Raiders last season? What's that? Baseball? Infield?

Royal Awards Announced

2009-01-08T07:28:00.001-08:00

clipped from kansascity.royals.mlb.comBut there will be other awards for the dinner at 6 p.m. CT on Friday, Jan. 16, at the Sheraton Overland Park Hotel in Overland Park, Kan. Tickets, $75 each or $750 for a table of 10, are available online at Royals.com or by calling 816-504-4040. The mad Hawaian picks up the

Sports - Royals Trade Nunez for Jacobs

2008-10-31T22:01:00.001-07:00

clipped from www.kansascity.com“We need to get better now,” Moore said. “We can continue to develop at the major leagues, and we’re going to continue to get the same result we’ve been getting, and that’s not something we’re prepared to do anymore.” This quote from Dayton Moore says it all. No more using the major

Covering an Obama Victory

2008-10-27T16:06:00.001-07:00

clipped from www.slate.comReporters do their least self-conscious work when they're startled by a story they hadn't prepared to write. Think of the astonishing coverage of the 9/11 attack, natural disasters, and the 2000 election-that-would-not-end. But giving a reporter (or a pundit) too much time to think about a

Sports - Royals Shopping Teahen

2008-10-27T07:42:00.001-07:00

clipped from www.kansascity.comThe Royals are discussing a possible trade with the Cleveland Indians in which they would acquire an outfielder in exchange for Mark Teahen, according to sources with both teams. Talks are believed to center on three possibilities for the Royals in the deal: Franklin Gutierrez, Ben

West Coast Liberal Bias

2008-10-03T13:53:00.001-07:00

I'm not saying that the viewpoint on the coming election is skewed here in Los Angeles.I'm just saying...

Political - Please Use Fact Check

2008-09-10T16:54:00.001-07:00

My Dad just gave me a great quote, which I'm surely getting wrong:"The Republicans started out using weapons of mass destruction. Now they are using weapons of mass distraction."As the presidential race really heats up in the next month, please take a few minutes each week to go to FactCheck.org and browse the articles they post. It's independent and it gives you the actual facts, with no

Politics - History of Pigs and Lipstick

2008-09-10T09:21:00.001-07:00

This story from CNN is what makes me love and hate the political process at the same time.Love: The fact that everybody is up in arms about whether or not Obama was referring to VP candidate Palin when he used the common colloquialism "you can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig."Hate: That people will probably think he's attacking all working mothers by saying they are pigs who put on

Sports Guy Calls It

2008-09-04T14:21:00.001-07:00

It's going to be a long year for the Chiefs. After a long summer for the Royals, I guess I can look forward to seeing how KU does without the hooligans who helped win the national title in March.ESPN's Bill Simmons is not predicting good things for the Chiefs, as well. This quote from his season preview says it just about right: clipped from

Getting Kicked in the Face Hurts

2008-08-12T22:40:00.000-07:00

What I learned this week:Getting kicked in the face hurts.Yes, I am still playing softball.It may not be the glory days of high school, when my fastball would touch the mid fifties and have opposing hitters wavering in their cleats with excitement over mashing my latest offering into the parking lot, but I still like to pretend I have a little bit of athletic prowess.I do not.Even in a co-ed

It all starts with some heavy cream

2008-06-01T22:40:00.000-07:00

What I learned this weekend:You can’t pick strawberries and not end up making fondue.There are a lot of things that change when you get married. You don’t go out and get drunk as much. You watch a few less ball games on TV. You see an attractive girl walking down the street and find yourself wondering if the blue pattern on her blouse would go well as an accent color with the new bedspread you

Sports - Who are These Guys? 2008 Season Preview

2008-03-30T11:11:00.000-07:00

A new job and extended jury duty have kept me from doing the kind of preview my five loyal readers are used to.So, as the 2008 season begins, I’m going to do an abbreviated “Who are these guys?” preview, focusing on the players who are most-likely to contribute to the team on a daily basis, with a little love given to those who made the opening-day roster (sans catcher Matt Tupman, who we know is

General - Quoting from MySpace

2008-03-13T16:51:00.001-07:00

This is a trend I've noticed in mainstream reporting lately. When they can't get an actual quote from somebody, they start using their MySpace or Facebook profile as gospel. See this quote below from CNN's story about the hooker Elliot Spitzer hooked up with. The story goes on to quoter her MySpace page talking about a broken home, a music career and how good she feels about herself now.These

General - He Suffered So You Could Save!

2008-02-26T18:41:00.000-08:00

Inspired by the following sing posted at my neighborhood Taco Bell:“Great tastes during lent!”MUSIC: Down TempoANNOUNCER: Have the high holy days got you down?Does your religious conviction leave you feeling bland and empty inside?Are archaic rules about pork products, meat on Fridays and 40 days of suffering keeping you from enjoying life?SFX: CHIMESMUSIC: Upbeat Pop MixANNC: Well, your

General - Monday Minutia

2008-02-25T16:24:00.000-08:00

My assistant is on the phone right now giving her friend the play by play of an instant messenger conversation she is having with another friend.You follow?Her conversation consists almost entirely of reciting the words that she is typing and that are being typed back at her.I just herd the phrase "and she said 'don't you know him? LOL.'"Mind you, she explained the humor by reading out loud the

Sports - Buck the Starter

2008-02-19T11:46:00.001-08:00

Before we get into the player previews (which will probably come before the season when the roster is more solid), let's look at some of the news as it comes along.I like Trey Hillman already for how he is treating John Buck. The quote below says it all. If the backstop can recreate the first two months of last year, he's going to be the man behind the plate. If Johnny Boy posts another sub-.600

Sports - Dayton Can't be Done

2007-12-05T15:52:00.001-08:00

The most famous Royals optimist out there, Rany Jazayerli, has hypothesized that the Jose Guillen deal is but one domino in a long chain of moves that General Manager Dayton Moore plans over this current off season.It had better be. According to Dan Szymborski’s early projections for next year, the best lineup the Kansas City Royals can produce in 2008 is this:Name P Age AVG OBP SLG

Sports - Royals "Win" Bidding for Jose Guillen

2007-12-04T14:25:00.000-08:00

Eager to continue the fine pharmaceutical heritage that began with Ewing Kauffman, the Kansas City Royals signed outfielder Jose Guillen to a 3-year, $36 million deal on Tuesday.The potential steroid suspension aside, are the Royals spending David Glass's new found money wisely? How about some charts!Below are two charts showing Guillen's On-Base Percentage (OBP) and Slugging Average (SLG) by age

General - What's Entertaining in Salt Lake City

2007-11-14T22:52:00.001-08:00

As the start of a new feature here on the ol' blog, I'm going to give you a double shot of something I think I'll call "What can you get for ten dollars?"The concept is pretty simple. My company sends me on the road. A lot. Business travel sucks and when you can only spend twenty bucks on dinner, there just isn't a lot of excitement to be had.My company does offer a ten dollar allowance (on trips

Politics - Colbert Can't Run

2007-10-24T14:37:00.001-07:00

Haven't written anything political for a while, but with the primaries finally drawing near, I'll probably start piping up with my blue-state, liberal muckety-muck.I'm a big Steven Colbert fan, and have been watching his run for president with what I feel is an appropriate amount of bemusement. I found the story below about the legalities behind Colbert's entrance into the South Carolina primary

General - Aren't You a Cute Little Fella... Ow!

2007-10-23T23:32:00.000-07:00

What I Learned This Weekend:Vegetables can develop personality.That is, if you leave a half-eaten piece of fruit in the fridge for about six weeks, it will develop anthropomorphic characteristics and scare the crap out of you once you try to dispose of it.(Quick aside: I spelled anthropomorphic correct on my very first try. It's past midnight in Denver while I'm typing this and I spent most of my

Sports - Royals Hire Hillman to Manage

2007-10-19T14:29:00.001-07:00

I don't know what a Ham Fighter is, but there are several things I like about this hire.1.) We may have actually beat out the Yankees on getting this guy. It always feels good to beat the Yanks.2.) Beyond the track record of success, there are stories about Hillman being able to adapt his style to the players he has. He went to Japan as a walks and homers guy, and found out he had a speed team,

General - Does God Use Spell-Check?

2007-09-22T00:07:00.000-07:00

What I learned this week:Never sit in seat 21C again.While settling in on a flight to Seattle, the woman sitting next to me uttered one of several phrases that you never want to hear in a confined space."Are you a Christian?"I let out a deep sigh and eyed the woman carefully. Answering this question wrongly can get you killed in some parts of the world. I was not looking forward to the

Do You Like to Watch?

2007-09-06T13:42:00.000-07:00

What I learned this weekend:My neighbors paid too much for their house.I’m not a real estate expert, but is a house really worth anything when you’ve got me staring into your bedroom window most nights?Let me rephrase that. I live on the second floor of a two story apartment building that was built around the same time Harry Truman was learning how to ride horses in Blue Valley. I like to sit

Sports - Re-signing Mike Sweeney

2007-08-27T17:37:00.000-07:00

While traveling for business last week, I missed this little item in the Kansas City Star: “Royals could re-sign Sweeney if Butler proves capable of playing first.”The reasoning goes something like this: The Royals have very little power in their lineup. Signing a free agent with power will be expensive. Mike Sweeney has power and is already here.I am curious about two specific aspects of this

Sports - If We Can Only Avoid the Yankees

2007-08-10T15:59:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday, May 8th, the Kansas City Royals lost to the Oakland Athletics by a score of 6-1. Jorge de la Rosa took the loss, giving up 10 hits in just over four innings of work, and the Royals season was already over with the team sporting a 10-23 record, on pace for 100 losses yet again.The Royals managed to eek out a 3-2 victory the next day, but dropped the series finale in style, giving up 17

You Want Me to be Your What?

2007-08-08T16:03:00.001-07:00

What I learned this weekend:I have what the cool kids are calling "social network fatigue."I am also, apparently, what the fine folks at Business Week call a "fogey."Here's the deal: I work in advertising. As such, pressures exist to stay on top of all the current trends. Thus, I have always been tasked with knowing what the kids are into and trying to predict the next fad to coming down the

Sports - Royals Trade Dotel for Davies

2007-07-31T12:38:00.001-07:00

The Salary number is a little rough, but for approximately $2.5 million, the Kansas City Royals got this from Octavio Dotel:23 Innings Pitched11 Saves29 Strike Outs3.94 ERAKyle Davies from the BravesWho is Kyle Davies? There are two ways to answer this questions. First, with the quick and dirty stats: 4-8 record, 5.76 ERA, 6 strikeouts a game (decent), 4.4 walks (not good).The other answer is

Can You Eat a Burrito with Chopsticks?

2007-07-25T18:34:00.000-07:00

What I learned this weekend:You shouldn't eat Japanese food and Mexican food within an hour of each other.Understand, I'm not saying you can't eat these two unique cuisines between ticks of the hour hand, I'm just saying that it isn't a suggested practice.The whole thing went down like this. Dinner plans had been made with friends at a local sushi place that we frequent for its Dollar Sake Night.

Sports - Royals Week in Review - 7/20/07

2007-07-20T12:24:00.001-07:00

After sticking it to the Red Sox, the Kansas City Royals prepare for a showdown with evil next week. But, before the Yankees come to Kauffman stadium, the boys in blue must first vanquish the front-running Detroit Tigers in the Motor City.Ivan Rodriguez’s ninth inning homer must be avenged!Month by MonthThanks to the hard work of people like Sean Forman, hacks like me can find stats like this

Sports - Royals Week in Review - 7/14/07

2007-07-14T10:25:00.000-07:00

Kansas City Royals come out of the All Star Break with a ton of momentum and a killer schedule. A few minor moves this week show that General Manager Dayton Moore may be warming up to be a player as the trade market heats up this month.All Star GameThe Royals sent their $55 Million Man to San Francisco to represent this week. Mr. Meche's line:DNPGood work, Gil.For a rundown of recent Royals in

General - What I Learned This Weekend

2007-07-10T15:22:00.000-07:00

My intake of Food Network programming needs to be monitored closely.Sunday was one of those days when the remote falls off the couch and no amount of persuasion will coax the cat into nudging it close enough for me to grab without getting up.So, I spent the next few hours watching a variety of culinary masters prepare foods using ingredients I've never purchased and vegetables I didn't know

Sports - Projecting the Second Half

2007-07-03T13:58:00.000-07:00

As Independence Day nears, the Kansas City Royals have passed the midpoint of the season looking remarkably like a good baseball club the past month.There will probably be many moves in the next month -- injured players returning, veterans getting traded, Buddy Bell giving Tony Pena Jr. a ten game shot at batting cleanup -- but for the moment, I want to focus on four numbers:68, 72, 77 &

General - What I Learned This Weekend

2007-07-03T10:56:00.000-07:00

You shouldn't charge a cover if your bar smells like feces.I'm sure we would have gone in anyway, because we were in the mood to party, but it would have been nice if the bouncer informed us of the sewage issues inside before asking us to pay ten bucks each to get in. Once inside, the sound system kept cutting out, so I was alternately screaming over early-nineties hip-hop or looking around

Sports - Royals Week in Review - 6/29/07

2007-06-29T17:02:00.001-07:00

Having swept the California Angels of Southern Antiqua, the Kansas City Royals look to the Chicago White Sox, a team that is one bad weekend away from taking over the cellar position the Royals have held for so long.As this weekend will mark the halfway point of the season, let's take a look at some of the notable stats from the first 79 games.Offense & DefenseMo RS RA OPS ERAApr 3.8 5.1

Sports - MLB Piques My Interest in Women's Apparel

2007-06-28T13:34:00.000-07:00

First of all, let me say that I love my wife.Let me also say that it is easily apparent this is a photoshop job, as I found the same picture for all MLB teams with the logo switched out.Lastly, for the record: I don't care. As somebody who grew up on "Who's the Boss," watched "Charmed" in spite of the ridicule from my roommate, and recorded the episode of "Spin City" when Alyssa Milano played the

General - In the News

2007-06-26T15:52:00.000-07:00

Since CNN spent their budget going to live coverage of Paris Hilton getting out of jail last night (yes, I was watching CNN at midnight... get over it), I figured I would recap some interesting bits of actual news I read while traveling last week.From the 6/21/07 USA today:Missing: Large Lake in Southern ChileA lake in southern Chile has mysteriously disappeared, prompting speculation the ground

Sports - Royals Week in Review - 6/22/07

2007-06-22T13:58:00.000-07:00

Something happened to the Kansas City Royals bats around June first. I don't know what it is, but after losing seven in a row, the boys in blue have pretty much taken Pythag out behind the woodshed the last few weeks.The following chart has two lines:The RED line represents the Royals running pythagorean record based on runs scored and runs allowed as the season progresses.The BLUE line is a

General - What I Learned This Weekend

2007-06-14T18:22:00.000-07:00

People do not like to have their children compared to domesticated animals. So, I packed up the bride and drove deep into the OC this weekend for a birthday barbecue. Down into the parts of Orange County that are ignored by network television because they aren’t by a beach or populated with enough foul-mouthed youngsters. As it happens when visiting friends who have children (and their friends

Sports - Royals Week in Review - 6/8/07

2007-06-08T18:58:00.000-07:00

The Kansas City Royals decided to take a week off from playing baseball, reflect on the lives they’ve led and generally kill any positive momentum from taking eight of ten contests before their big slide.How badly did the recent seven game losing streak suck?Here it is in sparkline form (Black bars are games decided by more than two runs):On May 23, the Royals stood at 19-28, on pace for 65 wins